


a penny for your thoughts, my love

by foreverautumn



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: M/M, Phone Sex, Porn with Feelings, Praise Kink, Separations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:47:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22045117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foreverautumn/pseuds/foreverautumn
Summary: "Oh?" Victor says, encouragingly. His hand slides away, into his own hair, fingers lacing through the strands. He doesn't know what he's doing, what he's pressing for, but maybe Yuuri will.It takes awhile for him to answer, but when he does, it's like music to Victor's ears. "Yes, good. Because no one else can have you." Victor's fingers twist a little harder.(Victor misses Yuuri terribly. The one consolation is, Yuuri misses him just as much.)
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov
Comments: 22
Kudos: 143





	a penny for your thoughts, my love

**Author's Note:**

> I've had an old, old anon prompt sitting in my inbox - "it's lonely here without you" - and after rewatching yoi again recently, I finally wrote something for it... also please can we have some beautiful new yoi content soon? (weeps gently)

It's difficult not to feel silly. When he's gone through his entire life not even knowing someone exists, does he really have the right to feel so empty after being separated a mere three weeks?

Still, the words had left his mouth, unbidden, drawn out by the sound of Yuuri's soft laugh tinkling over the line. _It's lonely here without you_ , and Yuuri's laugh had quieted, silence between them now. Victor is sure he should apologize, for ruining the very careful avoidance of anything acknowledging their separation they had both been sticking to.

He doesn't. Instead, he waits for Yuuri to say something in response.

" _Victor_ ," it comes, finally. His name, somewhere between chiding and soothing at the same time. Victor closes his eyes.

The apology comes a little easier, now. "Sorry." He laughs, strained. "I know we aren't talking about it."

"It's not like that, it's just..." Yuuri trails off. He sighs, and Victor wishes he could feel the warmth of that sigh, wishes Yuuri's chin were nestled right there in Victor's shoulder while he murmurs into his ear. "There's no use in dwelling on something we can't change," is what he settles on.

"I know," Victor says. He knows this, of course, but something thick and heavy rises in the back of his throat anyway. He raises a hand to cover his mouth, eyes still closed. Yuuri had been laughing, and now Victor's ruined it.

It's only been three weeks, and he's not sure how he's supposed to make it through another day. How juvenile. "Sorry," he mutters again, muffled by the hand still over his face.

"Victor, don't." Yuuri's voice is low, and Victor tries his best to pretend he's there, right there beside him. There's a rustling sound, and whether it's Yuuri shifting around in bed, or getting up to walk around, he is unsure. What he does know is that he's made Yuuri restless. A sigh, and more rustling.

"It's fine, I'm fine," he says in a rush, but he doesn't sound fine. If he can't even fool himself, there is no way he'll fool Yuuri. His hand slides up to cover his eyes, still closed. 

"You don't have to be fine," Yuuri replies, soft. Wetness pools behind Victor's eyelids, and he hates himself. "You know it's the same for me. I... I miss you too. I'm..." A shaky exhale. "I wish you were here."

"You don't have to say it," Victor says, even as his heart squeezes pitifully in his chest. "I know, and it's - I'll be fine, I just need a second." A lie, but hopefully Yuuri won't call him out on it. _Just let me collect myself, and we can go back to talking like everything's fine._

"It's okay." Yuuri is far, far too lovely for someone like him. "We don't have to pretend, either. That's not going to resolve anything." Victor tries to say something, but Yuuri keeps talking. "You don't have to... hold back, or be strong, I don't know." He laughs, a nervous titter. "You know what I mean." There's a pause, before Yuuri confesses quite suddenly, "It's not like I haven't cried, either."

Victor lets out a watery laugh, tears trailing down his cheeks. "Who says I'm crying?" His fingers wipe away the worst of it, but more wetness is there in an instant. He's not a man to cry like this all that often, but Yuuri makes it hard to feel ashamed.

"Ah? I guess I was off the mark," Yuuri says, and Victor really does love him. Would do anything to wrap his arms around him right now, press his nose into his neck and tell him so.

Instead, he does his best to settle down. Yuuri doesn't rush him. Victor's voice sounds almost normal when he speaks up. "Yuuri, don't you start crying too, okay? Then I'll never stop."

"Who's crying?" Yuuri asks, pitched high in puzzlement, and Victor smiles. Next time, he promises himself, they will do a video chat, and neither one of them will end up in tears. Only smiles.

"I don't know how I got so lucky, ending up with someone like you," Victor muses, contenting himself with envisioning the flush in Yuuri's cheeks. "Haha, putting up with someone like me can't be so easy, can it?"

"Oh, shut up," Yuuri says, startling a laugh from Victor. "You may be pretty, but I'm not going to tell you how wonderful you are after that lead-in."

"You're right," Victor agrees easily. The tightness in his throat is all but gone, now. Slowly, he eases himself backward in the bed, stretching out once he's lying down fully.

"It's really not fair, you know," Yuuri murmurs after a few moments. "I've never met anyone who looks so pretty when they cry."

He can't help another laugh, cheeks heating up in spite of everything. He thinks of days when Yuuri could barely look him in the eye, and now they're here, like this. "Why, Yuuri, if I didn't know any better, I'd think you were flirting with me."

"I can't imagine what would make you think I'd ever do something like that," Yuuri says, and Victor can picture the lopsided little smile on his face. He'd like to press his lips to it, chase it until it turns into one of Yuuri's bigger smiles, where he gasps out a _Victor_ , brightness in his eyes and warmth in his cheeks.

He wipes at his face one last time, sighing softly. "Ah, I really am a mess, aren't I?"

"Maybe a little," Yuuri replies, but it comes out gentle, almost teasing. "But I wouldn't have you any other way."

"I don't want anyone else to have me," Victor declares unnecessarily. Still, it feels good to say it out loud, to hear Yuuri's intake of breath over the line. "I only want my Yuuri to look at me." Something warm prickles down the back of Victor's neck, urging him to continue. "Only you can hold me, kiss me," he adds, a little breathlessly.

"W-well, that's..." Yuuri stammers, before pausing a long moment. Victor is unsure why, but he holds his breath, counts the beats until Yuuri answers. "That's... good." Another beat. "Good," Yuuri repeats, firm. A shiver goes down Victor's spine. He _craves_ it, the surety of Yuuri's voice.

"Oh?" he says, encouragingly. His hand slides away, into his own hair, fingers lacing through the strands. He doesn't know what he's doing, what he's pressing for, but maybe Yuuri will.

It takes awhile for him to answer, but when he does, it's like music to Victor's ears. "Yes, good. Because no one else can have you." Victor's fingers twist a little harder. "I don't want anyone to look at you." His voice has gotten breathy, a little less sure of himself, but Victor loves it just the same.

"I'm yours, only yours," Victor murmurs. Something restless and exhilarating settles in the pit of his stomach as the words leave him, as he listens to Yuuri's breathing through the phone. They're tumbling in a direction he has no experience in, but he doesn't want it to stop. It doesn't make him forget, no, he can't forget the distance between them, but right now, it feels like a balm is soothed over the wound. The ache is less, less, when Yuuri makes that thoughtful little _hum_ , and anticipation roils in his gut.

"It's been awhile since... I've touched you." Victor shivers at the sound of Yuuri's voice, low, tugging at his own hair. He exhales, a short sound of affirmation; waits, waits, and then, "Have you touched yourself, thinking of me doing it?"

Victor's heart lodges in his throat, lips parted in a silent moan. Electricity races down his spine, through his limbs, and he nearly drops the phone clutched in his hand. "Yuuri," he gasps out, surprise, delight, and arousal all swelling together, curling dangerously in his stomach. What is he supposed to say? He needs to offer something in response, but all that comes out is a weak little groan.

Should he be confident, sexy? Or pleading? Yuuri has taken the lead and god, it sends a thrill through him, but what part is he expected to play now?

"Um... I don't know what that was." Yuuri laughs nervously, a sudden, high-pitched laugh that goes on for too long. Victor's heart may have just stopped.

"You know what it was," Victor breathes quickly, eyes shut tight. His heart skips a beat when Yuuri remains quiet. "Don't take it back." Victor fears he's managed to ruin it before they'd even had a chance. "Please," he says, _please_.

"Uh..." Yuuri begins, hesitant. Every second feels like an eternity to Victor. "You really... do you really want me to...?" He trails off awkwardly, words dying away, and Victor can't bear it.

"You've told me before when I'm being too dramatic," he forces out, practically yanking his hair, "but Yuuri, I really might die if you don't."

Yuuri makes a sound, one Victor can't quite interpret. He shifts restlessly, unsure of how to salvage the situation. He thinks of Yuuri's earlier question, and answers it truthfully, though perhaps too late. "You're the only thing I think about, when I do it."

The words hang in the air, heavy, and Victor's heart is racing again. He wants Yuuri to say something, but the truth is - maybe this whole thing is stupid; he's too emotional, too desperate, maybe they should just stop -

"Okay," Yuuri says, soft, and at the single word, Victor's unease dissipates. He sighs, relieved, and tries to let the tension seep out of him. "Okay," he says again, and Victor closes his eyes. By the time he untangles his fingers from his hair, hand pressed up against the pillow beside his head, Yuuri seems more relaxed, too. "That's... I'm glad to hear you say it. I like that you... I want you to think of me."

Victor has been all over the world, been fawned over by countless men and women alike, has had his every need catered to at the mere drop of a hat, and has never felt more spoiled, more cared for, than he does right now. Yuuri always, always makes him feel this way. He traces his fingers to the hollow of his neck, feels the pulse pound there, and breathes.

"What else do you want to hear?" he murmurs. Each and every thing that Yuuri might long to hear, Victor wants nothing more than to tell him. "Your hands, your body..." His mind all too easily conjures up an alluring image of Yuuri's body curled on top of him. His breathing picks up. "Not just that, either." Lips pressed to Victor's ear; he can almost feel it. _I want you to think of me._ "Your mouth, too. God, Yuuri, it's all I can think about."

"O-oh." A small, hitched sound, but so much wonder in it. Is any of this what Yuuri had wished to hear? Victor wonders what expression he's making right now. Are his eyes wide, or half-lidded? Have his cheeks darkened with that lovely flush Victor adores so much, or is he still processing what Victor had said?

It's alright to keep going, isn't it? "Right now, if you were here, on top of me, I think I'd..." His head is foggy, blood pounding, but Yuuri's breathing has turned heavy, and it only makes the words he's saying feel more real. "I'd touch you everywhere, so you only think about me too." His eyelashes flutter, warmth pooling between his legs when Yuuri exhales sharply.

_Only me, and only you, for me._ Something tumbles in his chest, and he shifts his head against the pillow, lets his fingers press to his lips. "I'd... I'd kiss you. Everywhere, so I can feel you with my mouth and my hands." His own fingers can't match the warm press of Yuuri's skin, but with Yuuri's ragged breaths in his ear, he can almost pretend. "I could touch you forever, but I don't think you'd let me. I think you'd want more, and I'd give it to you."

Yuuri makes a low, muffled sound, and Victor stops abruptly, tries to focus. He's gotten more than a little carried away, hasn't he? He's been rambling, spurred on by Yuuri, despite the lack of actual words of approval or encouragement. The fact remains he's hard, and wanting, from barely anything at all.

Heat burns through him, lacing up the back of his neck and soaring through his cheeks. He tugs restlessly at the collar of his shirt before running his fingers downward, down, so slowly. "Ah, Yuuri, is this... are you--?" He bites his lip, unable to stop the motion when he touches the bare skin of his stomach where his shirt has ridden up.

Is this any good at all? Maybe Yuuri's laughing at him right now, how obvious he is, how desperate. How little it had taken to get him so worked up. He wouldn't even mind it, really, but there's no denying this would all be much, much better if Yuuri isn't just humoring him.

And then Yuuri says, "Yes," in that voice, " _Victor_ ," like a moan, and Victor bites his lip harder, stars dancing behind his eyelids as he clenches them shut. His name again, _Victor_ , and his hand is dancing in the space above his hips. Are they really going to do this? His skin is burning, on fire, and when his fingertips slip beneath the hem of his underwear, just barely, he lets out an embarrassing gasp.

He pauses then, head fuzzy, thrown off by his own body's reaction to such a miniscule touch. Blood pounds in his ears, drowns out the sound of his heaving breaths. He feels startlingly silly, until Yuuri pleads, "D-don't stop, Victor, I--" His voice cracks a little, and the hair on the back of Victor's neck prickles. "I, I want to hear... Your voice, I..."

Suddenly, the heat is back, burning all over. Victor tosses his head to the side, thinks of Yuuri eager to hear his voice, like this, and it's all for him anyway, because of him, so Victor doesn't hold back when his fingertips travel further south. A wavery sigh falls from his lips as he drags it out, heart fluttering so hard against his chest. "Yuuri," he breathes, "Yuuri, I really am a mess."

"Good," Yuuri says, and the word, again, makes Victor preen. Terrible, his body reacting this way from just a few kind words, the simplest form of praise. His back arches off the bed before he even touches himself, all because Yuuri goes on to tell him, "You're so, so good, you're going slow, like I... I would be."

A warbled sort of moan, unseemly, and Victor's fingers scrabble at his skin. Hesitant, a little unsure, not unlike the first time Yuuri had touched him. Even then, Victor had fallen apart, and every time after. "Can I?" he asks, not even sure what he's asking. He wants, more than anything, but he wants Yuuri to be the one to give it to him.

When Yuuri asks him what he needs, when he chokes out something garbled, what in his head should be something like, _I need you to touch me_ , Yuuri responds with a soft, _oh_. "You haven't even...?" And then a breathy little laugh, "Oh, I, um, I already... So yeah, yeah, Victor, yeah." He babbles, encouraging Victor, "Touch yourself, touch, ah, you're so good--" 

Yuuri's panting in his ear is too much, knowing he's already gone ahead and just why, exactly, he's panting to begin with. Victor keens when his hand finally wraps around himself. It feels like too much, too soon, even though he's been going slow, the burn all throughout him beginning to fixate in one spot now. "Yuuri," he moans, toes curling in the sheets as he cranes his neck backward, shakily stroking himself once, twice.

"Ah," is all that Yuuri gets out in reply, but the sound of his breathing, his soft little sounds, it's enough to drive Victor crazy. Part of him still can't quite believe they're doing this, but it's a fleeting thought, one drowned out by Yuuri murmuring into his ear, "What else would you do, if you-- what would you do to me, Victor?"

Different visions dance before his eyelids, of pushing Yuuri into the bedsheets, dark hair stark against them, of pressing him forward along the shower wall, his back a beautiful arc, water droplets on his skin, of licking along his sensitive, delicate neck. "Whatever you want," he moans, hand squeezing as he struggles to speak. Pleasure curls through him, an insistent throb, and he chases it, crying out. Visions of another kind, of Yuuri pressing against him, holding him down and doing whatever he wants to him, fill his mind. "Whatever you want," he repeats, "however you want me, anywhere you want me." His cheeks burn at the words, at the images planting themselves in his head; Yuuri having him over every surface, mixing and blurring into Yuuri begging him to go faster when Victor's buried deep inside. "Ah, Yuuri, I'm..." He's lost, totally lost, hand flying over his cock, hot and heavy, and - he'd meant to go slow, slow, Yuuri wants him to go slow -

"I want it, I want-- I want you," Yuuri chokes out, groaning. The sound turns muffled, and Victor can nearly see him pressing his hand to his mouth, turning his face to his pillow. Anything to hold back the noises he's making, and Victor wants to tell him not to, that he wants to hear him too, needs to, _needs him_ , but before he can begin to form the words, Yuuri's back to moaning in his ear. "Y-you're-- do you even know what you look like?" _Ridiculous_ , his brain supplies, the current situation not quite lost on him even as desire overtakes everything else. Yuuri doesn't let him dwell on the thought, voice hushed as he answers his own question. "You're like a dream." 

He says it like a confession, and maybe it is, for Yuuri; maybe it's something he'd always meant to keep to himself, and maybe he'll be embarrassed for letting it out. Maybe Victor is the one who should be ashamed instead, of the whine that leaves him, the goosebumps that rise on the back of his neck, the way his legs shake.

"T-that's..." Victor loses his train of thought as soon as he tries to speak. _You're wrong_ , he thinks, skin hot, but another part of him whispers, _tell me more_. He twists his wrist, harder, faster, and - it's Yuuri who is like a dream, his dream, the one who's taught him everything important -

"You're so..." Yuuri's struggling too, but he's always, always been persistent. "You say you want to touch me, but ah, if you'd let me... I'd like to kiss you all over, every spot I can reach." _If I let you?_ Victor's certain the very air around him is singing. "I want to be the one to show you, every part of you is amazing, and I..." _Of course I would let you._ "I want it all. But you have to stay still, and _let me_ ," Yuuri murmurs, a hard sort of edge to those last two words, and it takes Victor a moment to realize Yuuri can't see his feverish nod.

"Yes," he pleads, _yes_ , has his face ever felt so hot? "Have all of me, it's yours, I'm yours." Pleasure spikes through him, intoxicating, and he can't stop talking. "I'm yours, I'll do it, just tell me-- tell me what to do, Yuuri." Whatever Yuuri wants, he will do. "I'll be good for you."

Yuuri's voice cracks, turning whatever he'd been about to say into a shattered groan. In another circumstance, Victor might have laughed, but instead, he loves the sound of it, adores it. No one else will ever, ever hear him like this, and he knows it's the same for Yuuri.

"Victor, are you close?" Yuuri asks suddenly, urgently.

The question hits him right in the gut, and a long, high sound leaves him, something ridiculous, but what's the point in holding back? His hips jerk upward, thrusting messily into his own fist, and he wants to come just like this, too hot, disheveled in his sheets, just from the sound of Yuuri's voice. "Yes, yes," he gasps, "yes, Yuuri, Yuuri, yes--" _Please say you are, too._

"S-so am I." The assurance comes on a shaky sigh, and Victor could almost laugh, exhilarated. He's so terribly, achingly hard, and he's certain he's never gotten so worked up from simply giving himself a handjob. Still, there's no doubt this is unlike any of the previous times.

He's desperate for it, eager for the rush of finishing with Yuuri's voice to guide him, but if Yuuri told him right now to stop, he knows he would. The thought jolts through him like lightning, makes him shiver, arching helplessly. Is it wrong to almost wish that Yuuri would?

"I'd stop if you told me to," he confesses, and Yuuri moans brokenly in response. "I'd do anything, anything--" His feet plant against the bed, the new leverage allowing him to jerk his hips harder, faster. Whatever filter may have been left is fading away, nothing left at all aside from his own shameless desire. "Only you could do this to me, do you know? I'm going to come all over myself, Yuuri," - is that really his voice? is that what he sounds like? - "I want you to come all over me, I want it," he whines, head thrown back, and Yuuri's gasping, stuttering in his ear, and if he's coming, god, if he's coming -

"Ah-- _Victor_ ," and Victor's head is _spinning_ , back strung like a bow. Yuuri lets out a hoarse cracked sound followed by the sweetest whimper, and still, more, a few jumbled words Victor can't understand no matter how hard he tries, all of it for him, and Victor cannot get enough. He tightens his fist, squeezing, makes himself moan, and imagines it's Yuuri, losing control in his own pleasure. Blood rushes in his ears, fire spiking down his neck. Yuuri's little sounds are perfect, intoxicating, he's almost-- he's so close, so, so close.

He doesn't want it to be over, but he'd known he wouldn't last long the first moment he'd touched himself. He thinks of Yuuri's face, the way it twists in pleasure when he comes, and lets out a whimper. "Yuuri, I think I, I don't know if I," he says mindlessly, and he does want it, despite not wanting this to end.

"It's okay." He swears he can almost feel the weight of Yuuri's body beside him, the heat of his words a gust against Victor's skin in the dark when he asks, "Can you come for me, darling?" And it's so, so, utterly unfair, that voice achingly soft and sweet, the endearment enough to make tears spring to his eyes for no good reason, none at all.

Victor shakes, hips stuttering, his hand picking up its pace. "I love you," he says, he loves him so much, and he can see Yuuri's face perfectly in his mind, the first time he'd ever said it. The low rumble of Yuuri's voice is in his ear, but Victor can't hear a word, can only let out a sob as his hips jerk one last time, hard, his release washing over him in a warm, heady wave.

It's bliss, every time, with Yuuri. It takes some time before he comes back to himself, bit by bit, the pleasurable blankness that slates over his mind and body with his release beginning to subside. He knows he'd probably made a lot of embarrassing sounds at the end, but Yuuri's never really seemed to mind when he's loud, even on the occasions he's complained. _I can't help it, this is how you make me feel_ , he'd said once, and Yuuri had turned so red and been so utterly adorable that he'd ended up rolling him over into a second round.

Victor stretches, his limbs pleasantly jelly-like. "Mm, wow. That was something, wasn't it?" His heart still patters against his chest, but less wildly, almost like the light tap of fingertips lulling him to sleep.

Yuuri's breathing has evened out, but he lets out a small laugh in response. "I guess that's one way to put it." A smile grows on Victor's face, at least until the moment he looks down at the mess on his hand. He rubs it against his shirt absentmindedly, then tucks himself back into his underwear. Yuuri asks somewhat timidly, "So, everything is... good?"

It won't do for Yuuri to get shy, though he must admit he's never really stopped finding it enchanting all the same. He loves bold Yuuri and shy Yuuri in equal measure. "Better than good, I would say," Victor returns, teasing. "You?"

"Yeah," Yuuri replies. He's always gotten a little quiet afterward. Victor usually presses kisses to his neck while they wind down, but for now, all they have are each other's voices.

Part of him thinks Yuuri might have needed this just as much, but it's not necessary to put that thought into words. "You were amazing, Yuuri," he says instead. "I think I might like you to talk to me more, the next time you take me."

Yuuri splutters, unable to form words, and Victor laughs, heart light. Sometimes he can't help but tease Yuuri a little too, in between kisses. "My, I didn't think there could be any more ways that you drive me wild. Think about it, okay? Don't be surprised when I ask."

Yuuri makes a wounded sound, to which Victor assures, "Oh, don't worry, you can ask for whatever you want too, when I do you." The half audible _oh my god_ makes all the prodding worth it, and he decides to let up for now. Yuuri huffs when he realizes he's finished, and Victor is tempted to continue, but if he's being honest, he's losing steam, himself.

"You're awful at pillow talk," Yuuri grumbles, affection lacing every word. Warmth squeezes around Victor's heart, and his eyes drift closed. "No one would ever believe it. The great Victor Nikiforov. Supposed heartthrob."

"How tragic," Victor murmurs, lips pressed to the band around his finger. "I guess that means no one will want to date me now."

Yuuri hums, and Victor lets out a quiet laugh. The silence between them is warm, comfortable. He's unsure how long it goes on, his mind turning a bit fuzzy as his eyelids grow heavier.

"I should have taken my underwear off," he comments idly, teasing the hem and letting the band snap against his hip. He could probably drift off, but the small sting helps to keep him alert.

It's quiet for a bit before Yuuri finally pipes up. "You came in your underwear?"

Victor creaks one eye open with some difficulty. "Hmm... a little bit. Most of it got on my stomach, and shirt..." He squints downward, lamenting at the larger stain from where he'd thoughtlessly wiped his hand against the fabric. It takes another few moments for him to realize that Yuuri is silent again, and a few more before he considers why that might be. A small smile quirks at his lips. "Ah, do you think that's sexy, Yuuri?" His fingers trail along his lower stomach, eliciting a tiny shiver. "I could send you a picture."

The garbled denials he gets in response should be a little insulting. Victor laughs softly as he lets his body relax. "What about you, hm? Are you naked right now? Should I be jealous of your pillow?"

Another frustrated sound, then a steely, "Victor." Victor can't help another laugh, after which Yuuri grumbles, "Why would you be jealous of a pillow, anyway."

"I'm jealous of your sheets too, don't worry." Half-formed visions of Yuuri's legs tangled up in the sheets dance behind his eyelids, distracting enough that he almost misses Yuuri's next words.

"You're being ridiculous," Yuuri declares. Victor knows he is, but he also knows that Yuuri doesn't really mind. Somehow, Yuuri has enough energy to chide Victor for still being awake.

"But Yuuri, it's even later for you," Victor can't help saying, because it's true.

"I know, but I already knew I could sleep in tomorrow." A sensible argument, to be sure. What else is there to do, other than disregard it completely?

"Still." Victor's voice comes out on a lilt. "That almost sounds like you planned everything. Does that mean this was a date?" They had mutually agreed to talk tonight, but Victor can't help himself.

"I didn't even buy you dinner," Yuuri says, clearly deflecting the question.

"I don't mind. You can treat me to nights like this any time you'd like." Victor's grin spreads, feels downright silly on his face.

"Victor." Not quite as stern as he would normally be. He must be tired.

"Hahaha, Yuuri, don't make that face." He can see it in his mind's eye right now. Victor knows he shouldn't tease, should, in fact, be the one chastising Yuuri, insisting he go to sleep, but he can't bring himself to do it yet. He's always had a selfish streak, after all.

"You don't know what face I'm making," Yuuri replies sulkily.

"But I do! You're pouting, I can hear it. And there's that little pinch between your eyebrows, I'd be smooshing it with my finger right--"

"Victor."

"...Yes?" He hopes Yuuri's not about to hang up on him. That would be a terrible way to end all of this.

"Sure." A pause. Victor struggles to remember just what Yuuri is agreeing to. He really is exhausted. "...Any time you'd like. That is, when it... when we can."

"Oh." Victor's heart flutters. _Nights like this, any time you'd like._ There's no certainty that they will be able to, but the fact that Yuuri means it is all that matters. "I'd like that. If we can."

"Yeah." Yuuri grows quiet. Warmth buzzes in Victor's chest, spreading outwards. Even now, Yuuri always finds new ways to surprise him.

"Hey, Yuuri." He gets a sleepy hum in response. "Can I get a kiss good night?" It's become something of a habit, at the end of their calls. Sometimes Yuuri tells him no, or changes the subject, and sometimes, just sometimes, he presses his lips together in the cutest, most precious sound that Victor's ever heard. He's feeling a little bit lucky tonight.

When he's alone again, Yuuri's voice wishing him good night echoing in his head, tiredness washes over him like a wave. The phone lies by his side as Victor tugs off his clothes, only managing to pull on clean underwear before he topples back into bed. He keeps his eyes closed, smiles, breathes deeply. It's alright. They're going to be alright.

**Author's Note:**

> a few things!  
> \- the idea of victor absolutely falling to pieces at any loving, kind words from yuuri is a gift to my life, i hope no one minds too much  
> \- victor is definitely the type who blurts spontaneous love confessions while in the midst of orgasm, you heard it here first  
> \- yes of course yuuri blew victor a kiss over the phone and yes victor did send yuuri a pic of himself flat on his back with his shirt ridden up and his hair splayed against the pillows and his eyes half-lidded and  
> \- i haven't written porn in years so this lacks the visceral punch that a good phone sex fic should have, but oh well (is soft phone sex a thing??) 
> 
> sorry i never specified why they are currently separated, just know it's a temporary scheduling conflict and they'll be together again soon. anyway thanks for indulging me with this fic and sharing with me in the yoi feels♥!


End file.
